Structure and Routines for Me

I have been trying so hard to get into some sort of a routine. I am definitely not a routine person. I think I want to be. I say think, because I sort of feel that if someone wants something bad enough they will make it happen. I have tried to have more routine and structure to my days. Eventually it all goes out the window.

There are many reasons or excuses I can think of that make a routine hard to follow. I have 5 to 7 people in the house at times. Trying to allow other people freedom to live their lives the way they choose can at times make it so I cannot.

Many times I have thought, "How can I make and keep a routine?" Start with little things? Do something for 3 weeks to make it a habit? How do some people stick with a habit or routine even through times of trouble or stress? How does one keep a routine when other people's needs always come first? For example, I may have a desire to get into my sewing room every night after the girls go to bed. Sounds simple right? It isn't, for me. Bedtimes in this house are not routine. The kids go to bed, but never at the same time. Dinner maybe got started late. We may have had a concert to go to. Someone needed a ride into town. There were meteors in the sky and we went out to watch them. It goes on and on. Sometimes I can't get into my sewing room until 10 PM and then that messes up my other desired routine of getting into bed at a decent hour so then I can get up early and get things done and, and, ..... For me, it seems, to have any type of routine I have to have the whole household whipped into shape and that isn't what I want to do.

One thing that I have stuck to over all is a daily walk. There have been times that I didn't do it for a while, like during this summer. I felt the time in the garden was my 'walk'.

For me, my daily walk or alone time in the garden is like meditation. Most of the time I do it alone. There are the times that Dean or the kids want to walk with me and that is fine, but sometimes I say no, I would rather go alone. I can think, enjoy the bird song, feel the breeze on my face and just enjoy the quiet and calm.

When I step off my driveway I can go left or right. I have walked this same walk for over ten years. Yes I will admit to thinking I wish I had a different walk. Same trees, same fields, same annoying barking dog, same houses. On the other hand there is something comforting about walking that same walk daily. Peaceful.

Maybe creating a routine for me has been about all or nothing. A change in perspective is what I need perhaps. A walk is good anytime. Day or even late at night. Maybe sewing once a day is my routine instead of sewing every night after the girls go to bed. Maybe it isn't about what time of day but that it just happens. If it doesn't happen one day, that doesn't mean it won't happen again. I tend to throw out a routine or any structure because it doesn't or can't happen every day.

So for now, for me, I will have my daily walk and my daily sew or knit or stitch. That will be enough to get started.