Being 'All Done'

Since mid Summer I have had this desire to become more organized with my time. It is so hard for me. Part of the reason it is hard is that I am the type of person that gets very distracted. I could be washing dishes and out my window I will see a deer. So I will call to the girls so they can come look. We will watch the deer for a bit. As I turn from the window I may see a pile of books that needs to be put away and I will start on that. A book or magazine from the pile will interest me and I will sit and read for a bit. Then one of the girls may come over and wonder what I am reading and we will talk about it. That may lead into a story or a game. Two hours later I will wander into the kitchen and realize I never finished the dishes.

Another reason this is hard for me is that I put too much onto myself. I want way too much. I want time to exercise. I want time to quilt, knit, read embroider...., I want time to spend with my family, time to garden, time to bake and cook great meals.  I want time to do things for my family visit with my friends and also volunteer in my community. I want time for many of these things all in one day! Ha, Ha.

Yet another reason I get bogged down and don't get organized is that I don't know my own priorities. I always cook for my family, spend time with my family, and do things for my family. My family is my main priority right now. What I don't know is after my family what is my priority? Volunteer work? My own hobbies? Getting exercise? It is impossible to do everything, everyday so what do I pick? I have tried setting up a 'schedule' for myself. You know, exercise at 8, math with the girls at 9, do some chores at 11..... For some reason, at least for me, it never lasts and never works. Distraction in myself or others. Illness, someone else's schedule will change, which means mine has to. Someone will want a baked good for a fundraiser or we will be asked to get together at a friends house. Just going out to feed the chickens can throw the morning off if there is a problem in the chicken coop. Seriously a strict hour to hour schedule just won't work in a house with this many people and variables.

Some things I have learned to improvise. For instance exercise can be cleaning out the chicken coop. It can be biking with my girls. It can be walking and talking with a friend. It can be planting a bed of garlic. I do feel guilty seeing the exercise bike my husband bought me just sitting there though. Winter. That is when I will use the bike. In those long winter days when I cannot go outside. When there is no snow to shovel and when my shovel cannot dig because the ground is frozen. I also have gotten better at bringing some kind of handwork with me where ever I go and if I am just sitting talking or waiting for someone or even riding (not driving) in the car I can get in some crafting time for myself.

I have been thinking about this for a while now. I think my main problem is that I have always been the kind of person that cannot really relax here in the house until everything is 'all done'. I don't mean big projects. I understand if I didn't get around to raising pigs this year. It wasn't in the cards. I understand that certain things take time and slow but steady progress. For instance I wanted an herb garden this year. I did plant it and it did well. I used several herbs in my cooking and canning this year. I felt very good about it. What I didn't do and realize I can work towards is drying and storing my herbs. There is always some 'project' that didn't get finished, or even started and I can see the big picture in these situations. What I really have trouble letting go of are the smaller things. The things I see as I walk through the house. The laundry that isn't folded yet, or the floors that need to be vacuumed. The dishes in the sink or the floor that needs washing. To feel able to, and good about sitting down to relax, knit, or read in the middle of the day, before chores are 'all done' is very difficult for me.

Now the thing that makes no sense at all, but I see how it happens, is that I have no problem at all coming down into the office and sitting in front of my computer browsing news sites, blogs, and (cringe) Facebook. Is it because it is easy? Can I slip down without anyone noticing and get a little sit down time? Do I like the computer better than reading or crafting? No I really don't think that is it. Why can I make time to sit in front of this screen in the middle of the day, but not to sit in my cozy rocking chair and stitch a bit with a hot cup of tea? I tell myself I can't take time to have fun or relax until the work is done, but the mindless computer time doesn't count. Pretty dumb. I know that there is laundry to hang, the girls are waiting for me, paperwork needs to be filled out.... but I still find time to sit in front of the screen. Then at the end of the day, when I really want to sit and craft or read I can't because I am playing catch up on all the chores that just cannot be left undone. Would those said chores been finished during the day while I wasn't wasting time on the computer? Or would I still run around at the end of the day getting things 'all done' before I could relax?

So, I guess I need to figure out what the root of the problem is. My inability to let the small things go undone? Or do I need to have a stricter policy on my computer use? Or maybe a little bit of both? Or do I need to loosen up and just keep going the way I am going? More thought on this is needed.